爱尔兰沃特福德理工学院足球新聞> 國外也有段子手:拜仁的北倫敦之戀!

沃特福德队服:國外也有段子手:拜仁的北倫敦之戀!

爱尔兰沃特福德理工学院 www.sygwop.com.cn 西江月-song 10-03 19:00

小伙伴們大家好,歡迎來到本期“國外也有段子手”歐冠特輯!本周的歐冠賽場精彩看點層出不窮,拜仁狂勝熱刺,皇馬遭遇平局,巴薩逆轉國米,利物浦、切爾西、尤文、曼城、馬競、巴黎等球隊也紛紛取勝。好了,話不多說,讓我們快來看看歪果仁們的精彩吐槽吧!

不可思議,拜仁7-2熱刺

BlackMoses18(贊比亞球迷):為了讓歐冠不要遺忘阿森納,熱刺已經盡力了…(Spurs doing their best to ensure Arsenal are not missed in the CL.)

Jaegeruk(利物浦球迷):阿森納能做到的事,熱刺一定能做得更多!(Spurs always aspiring to out do Arsenal and lose by an even bigger margin.)

Juanfaji(阿森納球迷):這些我都做得到,但那個人已經不是我…(It should be us…)

Strongass(拜仁球迷):可惜不是你,陪我輸五球…(what a pity, I miss that 5-1)

Rong_Bips_(圣何塞球迷):自從2012年后,拜仁就無比痛恨倫敦的球隊了...(Bayern really hate London clubs after 2012.)

404randomguy404(曼聯球迷):拜仁等待北倫敦球隊已經太久了,所以今晚一定要徹底釋放一下!(Bayern have been waiting for a North London club for so long. They just let it all out tonight.)

Sleekcollins(阿森納球迷):格納布里每進一個球,我的發際線就要后退幾厘米,當年我們怎么能放走他的…(Every time Gnabry scores, I lose a couple of centimetres of my hairline. We let him walk for fuck all.)

OpenPup(狼隊球迷):阿森納放格納布里去拜仁是一步大棋,就是為了讓他對熱刺上演大四喜!(5d Chess from Arsenal to let Gnabry leave so this very night could happen and he'd shag spurs scoring 4 lmao.)

Fidelfc(利物浦球迷):這場比賽的精彩集錦已經上傳到炮hub上去啦!(Highlights will be on p**nhub.)

Bil01(阿森納球迷):瞬間感覺丟拜仁5個球也沒那么糟…(Conceding 5 doesn't feel so bad now.)

Vadapaav(利物浦球迷):我還以為德國人不會再進攻倫敦了呢!(I thought Germany no longer attacked London.)

Mantobanto(阿森納球迷):江山易改,本性難移!(old habits die hard.)


StanozavaraGO(未知主隊球迷):慘敗給拜仁已經成為北倫敦的傳統習俗了...(It's a North London tradition to get absolutely trashed by Bayern.)

TCAS227(未知主隊球迷):看來北倫敦是紅色的!只不過是另一種紅。(North London is red apparently, just a different red.)

Mantobanto(未知主隊球迷):屠殺后的血紅?(slaughter red?)

aloestre2000(阿森納球迷):作為中立球迷,這場比賽絕對是我最開心的時刻!(This is the best time I've had watching a match as a neutral.)

squigsquig(未知主隊球迷):你這個“中立”就很靈性了。(What a "neutral".)

owen0_0(未知主隊球迷):德國人就是喜歡“7”這個數字。(Germans love 7.)

as0rb(未知主隊球迷):裁判給了熱刺點球,就是為了避免7-1再現…(Ref gave the pen just to avoid 7-1 humilliation.)


HippoBigga(巴薩球迷):科瓦奇也許不是最好的教練,但他的發量絕對是非常健康的…(Kova? might not be the best coach out there but at least he has a very healthy head of hair.)

KidDelicious14(熱刺球迷):我覺得孫興慜是很討厭德國的...(I'm starting to think Son hates Germany.)

EdenHazardsAss(切爾西球迷):德國當年跟日本結盟,而孫興慜又是韓國人,所以…(I mean they were allied with Japan and he's Korean so...)

連追兩球,皇馬2-2布魯日

TheBlank5(皇馬球迷):我最喜歡歐聯杯了!(Always rated the Europa league.)

shrefifa18(皇馬球迷):你竟還敢奢望我們能拿小組第三…(Bold of you to assume we will come 3rd)


Windowhihi(鹿島鹿角球迷):皇馬把庫爾圖瓦換下了,效果立竿見影!(Madrid sent Courtois off and it is fucking working wtf)

FoodCourtDruid(未知主隊球迷):穆里尼奧就要率領皇馬在歐聯淘汰阿森納啦!(Jose Mourinho's Real Madrid is going to knock Arsenal out of the Europa League.)

611381N_(利物浦球迷):看來比利時球員在皇馬很難成功??!(Its like belgian players can never succeed at real madrid.)

KVMechelen(未知主隊球迷):瞎說,人家布魯日全隊在伯納烏都踢得挺好的!(What do you mean Brugge were excellent.)

Watermelon_Soldier(巴薩球迷):這就是皇馬總能贏歐冠的原因…(This is how Real Madrid wins champions leagues.)

fan_rma(皇馬球迷):這也是巴薩總被翻盤的原因…(This is how Barca bottle's a lead.)

Walkableshoe(西雅圖球迷):我有個大膽的想法:讓拉莫斯永遠都踢前鋒!(Here's a crazy thought: Make Ramos a permanent forward.)

Sinixer(不萊梅球迷):你這人,咋偷看我玩FIFA的戰術呢!(don't spy on my FIFA tactics mate, not cool.)

AngryPenguin501(英格蘭球迷):看來幾個月后皇馬踢歐聯的可能性不小??!(There's still a legitimate chance we'll see Real Madrid in Europa League in a few months.)

Caesaurus(未知主隊球迷):那對阿森納來說可不是好消息。(Not good news for Arsenal fans.)

Hattyankee(阿森納球迷):我們對皇馬可是保持不敗的…(We've never lost to Real Madrid though.)

Riverspaceloop(阿森納球迷):剛查了一下,我們總共就踢過兩次皇馬,結果是一勝一平?(Just looked it up...we've only ever played them twice, winning one and drawing one?)

Hazardzuzu(切爾西球迷):皇馬可有上賽季歐聯杯最佳球員啊,大家都小心咯!(They have best player of the Europa league too. Everyone be scared)

Ridchangmas(西班牙球迷):特工阿扎爾和庫爾圖瓦在秘密幫助比利時球隊呢!(Secret Agents Courtois and Hazard helping Belgium out.)

Monarki(切爾西球迷):為啥有人要齊達內下課啊,難道皇馬現在不是西甲榜首嗎?(Saw people calling for Zidane to be fired. Are they not in first place in la Liga?)

Gnorrn(未知主隊球迷):巴爾韋德西甲兩連冠,結果所有人都叫他下課,沒天理??!(Everyone wants Valverde fired even though he won the last two leagues. WTF)

蘇牙絕殺,巴薩2-1國米

lucaslh10(巴薩球迷):不是國米不給力,只因巴薩有梅西…(You deserved the game but Messi is Messi...)

KapSan1(巴薩球迷):蘇牙吐了這么多餅,按慣例肯定是要進世界波了!(Typical Suarez casual banger after being subpar for most of the game.)

Unrectify(皇馬球迷):所以我們這么早把庫爾圖瓦換下去,就是為了讓他今天給巴薩守門?(So, we subbed out Courtois early so he could be ready to start for Barcelona today?)

Cream-Benzema(皇馬球迷):歐聯杯決賽來場國家德比?(An El Clásico final in the Europa?)

xDob(巴薩球迷):孔蒂那激情四射就像在踢歐冠決賽,而巴爾韋德就像蹲在那里看高爾夫球…(Bruh conte looking like it's the CL final and valverde just looks like he's watching fucking golf.)

Anonymousloverboy(未知主隊球迷):和巴爾韋德相比,馬蒂諾看起來都像是和瓜瓜、渣叔一個水平了…(Valverde: the man that makes Tata Martino look like Guardiola or Klopp.)

0fiuco(AC米蘭球迷):國米在歐冠差點擊敗巴薩,而我們卻在降級的邊緣…(Hey look Inter Is beating Barcellona in CL and im about to get relegated, hurrah.)

Tr4gg(AC米蘭球迷):這場比賽讓我明白,人生本來就是充滿痛苦的旅程…(Watching this as a Milan fan makes me understand that life is pretty depressing.)

跌宕起伏,利物浦4-3薩爾斯堡紅牛

Gazumper_(伯明翰球迷):利物浦不知道領先3球是最危險的嗎?(haven't liverpool learned that 3-0 leads are cursed smh.)

BuNz_FaTaL(熱刺球迷):利物浦只是想體驗一下上賽季的巴薩是什么感覺...(Liverpool want to know what Barca felt like last year.)

Ekofut(未知主隊球迷):利記球迷的速效救心丸又回來了…(Heart problems from supporting Liverpool return.)

bzogaj92(AC米蘭球迷):利物浦也遭遇伊斯坦布爾啦?(liverpool got istambuled?)

Gazumper_(伯明翰球迷):難以置信,薩爾斯堡怎么能把這么大的優勢給浪費了呢!(I can't believe salzburg bottled this smh.)

addy-fe(利物浦球迷):我們斷開的手柄終于又連上了…(Our disconnected controller has been reconnected.)

ElMejorPinguino(利物浦球迷):我們能換成再踢一次巴薩嗎?(Can we please play Barcelona again instead?)

Cosy4eva(未知主隊球迷):終于明白客隊在安菲爾德踢球是多么可怕了!當然水晶宮除外。(I'm starting to get the feeling that it's horrible playing at Anfield, unless you're Crystal Palace.)

iWinston(熱刺球迷):如果薩爾斯堡逆轉了,我們能忘掉昨天的比賽么?(If salzburg win can we forget about yesterday?)

kellmer123(利物浦球迷):薩爾斯堡還以為他們在踢熱刺呢!(Salzburg thought they were playing Tottenham.)

亞伯拉罕威廉進球,切爾西2-1里爾

he1101(AC米蘭球迷):機智的俄羅斯人??!切爾西買來普利西奇,就是為了毀掉他的職業生涯和美國夢!(Chelsea bought Pulisic to ruin his career and American dreams. Smart move by the Russian.)

伊卡爾迪進球,巴黎1-0加拉塔薩雷

AskewScissors(巴黎球迷):加拉塔塞雷噓我們的時間,絕對比給自己加油的時間都多了…(I could swear they spent more time booing us then they did cheering their team. It got pretty funny ngl.)

Helpful_Dude(加拉塔薩雷球迷):那是因為你們控球率高…(Well you had more possession.)

斯特林福登進球,曼城2-0薩格勒布迪納摩

hearau1823(未知主隊球迷):這場比賽最大的收獲,就是奧塔門迪上場時我們竟然能零封…(I think the main take-away from this game is Otamendi keeping a clean sheet.)

aqua_maris(瓦倫西亞球迷):歐冠引進VAR,就是為了讓曼城不要奪冠!(Theory: VAR was introduced in the CL to make sure City never win the competition.)

C羅伊瓜因進球,尤文3-0勒沃庫森

Ceftiofur(葡萄牙球迷):如果C羅足夠努力的話,應該可以成為下一個菲利克斯!(This guy can be the next portuguese Joao Felix if he works hard.)

Coldh(羅馬球迷):勒沃庫森的戰術不錯,一拿到球就不知道要干啥了…(I like Leverkusen game plan to take the ball and do absolutely nothing with it)

菲利克斯進球,馬競2-0莫斯科火車頭

raven2474life(薩克拉門托球迷):菲利克斯踢球,就像貓在吃掉老鼠之前先玩弄它半天…(Like a cat playing with its mouse before it eats it.)

ratchet570(本菲卡球迷):我們把整支球隊都賣了吧,然后把菲利克斯買回來讓他一個人去踢球…(Sell the club and buy Felix back and play him alone.)

好了,親愛的小伙伴們,本期的“國外也有段子手”就為大家播報到這了。讓我們拭目以待,來看下期歪果仁們更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

消息參考來源: reddit

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熱門評論(16)

2019-10-03 19:05:13

737

這個很贊

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2019-10-03 19:17:02

551

七喜之家

查看回復(15)

2019-10-03 19:04:22

524

拜仁:勞資打的就是北倫敦

查看回復(11)

2019-10-03 19:04:33

394

事實證明,拜仁是北倫敦之王

查看回復(2)

2019-10-03 19:26:06

386

拜仁:是北倫敦球隊嗎?

熱刺:是。

拜仁:是英超第四不?

熱刺:是。

拜仁:是沒拿過歐冠吧?

熱刺:是。

拜仁:那就沒錯,兄弟們,干他!

查看回復(14)

2019-10-03 19:03:13

314

別的不說,就阿雷奧拉這氣勢不比庫爾圖瓦強?

查看回復(16)

2019-10-03 19:11:39

279

作為一名夕陽周董粉,我表示這翻譯騷氣沖天?。?!

查看回復(7)

2019-10-03 19:19:07

182

Juanfaji(阿森納球迷):這些我都做得到,但那個人已經不是我…(It should be us…)

Strongass(拜仁球迷):可惜不是你,陪我輸五球…(what a pity, I miss that 5-1)

笑死了

查看回復(1)

2019-10-03 19:30:52

160

雞哥這個外號外國人都知道嗎

查看回復(13)

2019-10-03 19:07:53

145

沒4找4

2019-10-03 19:14:46

139

哎呀呀這個炮hub是什么呢

查看回復(24)

2019-10-03 20:18:54

97

這兩天是真看不見一個熱刺球迷了…

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2019-10-03 20:17:50

86

機智

2019-10-03 19:22:35

79

????????????????

??

這個就內涵了

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2019-10-03 19:18:44

75

若昂-菲利克斯15歲的弟弟雨果-菲利克斯也在本菲卡梯隊

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2019-10-03 19:21:38

73

一鳴驚人狗不理,信手拈來大四喜

場面如畫白鹿巷,盤帶起來球很燙

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